树上有十只鸟，开枪打死一只，还剩几只？"

某日，老师在课堂上想看看一学生智商有没有问题，问他
"树上有十只鸟，开枪打死一只，还剩几只？"
他反问"是无声手枪或别的无声的枪吗？"
"不是。"
"枪声有多大？"
"80-100分贝。"
"那就是说会震的耳朵疼？"
"是。"
"在这个城市里打鸟犯不犯法？"
"不犯。"
"您确定那只鸟真的被打死啦？"
"确定。"偶已经不耐烦了"拜托，你告诉我还剩几只就行了，OK"
"OK，树上的鸟里有没有聋子？"
"没有。"
"有没有关在笼子里的？"
"没有。"
"边上还有没有其他的树，树上还有没有其他鸟？"
"没有。"
"有没有残疾的或饿的飞不动的鸟？"
"没有。"
"算不算怀孕肚子里的小鸟？"
"不算。"
"打鸟的人眼有没有花？保证是十只？"
"没有花，就十只。"
偶已经满脑门是汗，且下课铃响，
但他继续问"有没有傻的不怕死的？"
"都怕死。"
"会不会一枪打死两只？"
"不会。
"所有的鸟都可以自由活动吗？"
"完全可以。"
"如果您的回答没有骗人，"学生满怀信心的说，"打死的鸟要是挂在树上没掉下来，那么就剩一只，如果掉下来，就一只不剩。"老师当即晕倒！

Virgin Mobile Top Up

 

From: .Virgin Mobile Team

Sent: Thursday, November 27, 2008 8:57 AM

To: kiangoh@hotmail.com

Subject: RE: Top Up

Hey Kian!!!

 

Sorry for the delay...

 

We really love hearing from you.  Thanks for your great Feedback!!!! 

 

I've submitted your feedback regarding extending our expiry dates just to make sure you officially go on record and so we can review for the future.

 

Make sure to drop us a line if you ever want to chat with us again.

 

Lots of Love,

Jose

VM Team

---

From: kiangoh@hotmail.com [mailto:kiangoh@hotmail.com]
Sent: Thu 13/11/2008 12:45 AM
To: .Virgin Mobile Team
Subject: Top Up

Are you currently a Virgin Mobile Customer?:    true

Tell us more:   Just a suggestion. When we do top up on our prepaid phone, please give us more days for the expiry!   60 days is not enough when I topped up $25 prepaid.  I want to see 90 days!!

I have 3 friends already switched to Petro Canada phone because of this. I love to see Virgin Mobile being competitive, and I want to see this happen!   Come on, Richard Branson, give me 90 days for $25 prepaid. You can do it!  Make us happy !

Richard Branson, say with me:  "Yes, we can.  Yes, we can. Yes, we can. ..."

共同点

有人问一位妇女:"在你与丈夫20多年的共同生活中,你觉得你们存哪些共同点?"

妇女考虑了很久以后答道:"我们唯一的共同点就是在同年同月同日结婚。"

Don't run around with sharp object in hands

Receive this from an forwarded email.

如果你覺得你不快樂，看看他們

如果你覺得你不快樂，看看他們。
如果你覺得你的收入低，那麼她的呢？If you think you don't have many friends.
如果你覺得你沒有很多知心的朋友，看看他。
When you feel like giving up, think of this man.
當你想要放棄的時候，想想照片中的這位先生。
If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?
如果你得你生活在痛苦之中，你的痛苦像他的一樣多一樣重嗎？
If you complain about your transport system, how about theirs?
如果你抱怨你的交通系統太糟太亂，那麼他們的呢？
If your society is unfair to you, how about her?
如果你覺得你的社會對你不公平，那麼她的呢？
Enjoy life how it is and as it comes. Things are worse for others and a lot better for us.
享受生活 "本真形" 和 " 自然 " 。很多事情 ,他人更糟而我并不壞。

There are many things in your life that will catch your eye but only a few will catch your heart---- pursue those.
生活中有多事情抓住你的眼球，但只有極少的事情可以抓住你的心-----就追尋那些觸動您心靈的事物吧。


（左）覺得上課很累很枯燥嗎？（右）他們呢？
（左）痛恨蔬菜？（右）他們連吃的都沒有
（左）你覺得父母的嘮叨與關懷讓你很受不了？（右）而他一無所有。
（左）生氣某人有名牌耐吉而你只有愛迪達？（右）他只有一種牌子。
（上）可以睡在床上不是很值得感激的事情？（下）他情願再也不用醒。
你還在抱怨嗎？

觀察你週遭的一切，並感謝所有你在短暫生命裡所能擁有的…

我們真的太幸運，因為我們擁有的比所需要的還要多！當我們無窮無止盡的還想要更多更多時，請不要忘記除了在這現代而先進社會的我們之外，地球上還有三分之二的其他弟兄姐妹們.


就讓我們減少抱怨，而是提供更多的給予付出與關懷，那就夠了。

世界是否美好，就在你我，只要問自己是否付出關懷與給予，其實，上帝會回饋給你的更多更多。

Just do it, my dear friend!
就去做吧，我親愛的朋友！

Jesus Love Me 詩歌-耶穌愛我萬不錯 滿1歲9個月

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hZHuYjWqDM

Why Teachers are So Stressed...

 

Why Teachers are So Stressed...check it out! When in School we always wondered why teachers always seemed so mad Now we know the reason&.coz they are so stressed out by our kids Why??????? Read below the essays to know I really sympathize with this teacher&. Want more?.................. Check out these Mathematics geniuses& ______________________________________________________________________

Tip of an iceberg

Rosh Hashanah is Jewish New Year

Year 2005 Oct. 3
Rosh Hashanah is Jewish New Year
Add a month  7 times in 19 years
The earth was created in 5766 years ago.

我們又在一起 - For Mingtao

我們又在一起 我們雅各小組, 來歡送你
我們雅各小組, 來歡送你
美好事必定要成就
美好事必顯明
我們雅各小組, 來歡送你 明道和明怡, 證主與以琳
為了主耶穌,獻上他自己
美好事必定要成就
美好事必顯明
為了主耶穌,獻上他自己 奔走神國路,祂必要祝福
我們弟兄姊妹以禱告托住
美好事必定要成就
美好事必顯明
奔走神國路,祂必要祝福 我們又在一起來讚美主
我們又在一起同心合意
美好事必定要成就
美好事必顯明
我們又在一起來讚美主

Carly Fiorina

Carly Fiorina was a CEO of Hewlett Packard. Early this year she got fired from the job and the media and negative thinkers have adequately publicized her firing. But it is also good to know about the inspirational journey of Carly, a graduate in History who started as a receptionist, to rise to the top of world's top technology company with $80 Billion in sales.

 

"What you are is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God. "

 

Read the speech...

http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dd7gkwm3_5gkjf4kgf

Gratitude

Brothers (and sis in law),

 

Life is a gift. God is for us. That we are alive today to enjoy our lives with gratitude!

 

Love,

kk

 

Book: Building the Christian Family You Never Had

 

Gratitude is recognizing God is good. One dictionary defines gratitude as "a warm feeling one has toward a benefactor" - a beautiful definition consider God gives us good gifts, when he showers us with grace and peace and joy, kindness is awakened in us. Gratitude has many synonyms: appreciation, thankfulness and gratefulness.

 

 

I am blind, please help

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'
What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

 Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Men in coats

http://www.koreus.com/video/men-in-coats.html

Our parents

STATIC PICTURE

A teacher says, "I feel that the picture is moving slowly like someone breathing!"

 

This static picture is used to measure and know about your level of stress which you can handle.  The slower the picture moves, the better chance of  your capability to face your stress.

 

A critically stressed up person will say that this picture is roving rapidly.

 

An elderly person and a child will say that the picture does not move at all!

 

This picture is not an animation, as it is really a static picture.  Happy trying.......  

Wrong Address

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided
to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a
wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her
husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting
condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into
the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which
read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 15 DIS 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we
are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby

The Earth Status Report

Earth Status report - 2006

If the population of the Earth was reduced to that of a small town with 100 people, it would look something like this:


57% Asians
21% Europeans
14% Americans (northern and southern)
8% Africans

52% women
48% men

70% coloured-skins
30% caucasians


89% heterosexuals
11% homosexuals


6 people would own 59% of the whole world wealth and all of them will be from the United States of America
80% would have bad living conditions
70% would be uneducated
50% underfed


1 would die
2 would be born

1 would have a computer
1 (only one) will have higher education


When you look at the world from this point of view, you can see there is a real need for solidarity,
understanding, patience and education.

Also think about the following -
This morning, if you woke up healthy, then you are happier than the 1 million people that will not survive next week.




If you never suffered a war, the loneliness of the jail cell, the agony of torture, or hunger, you are happier than 500 million people in the world.

If you can enter into a church / mosque without fear of jail or death, you are happier then 3 million people in the world.


If there is a food in your fridge, you have shoes and clothes, you have bed and a roof, you are richer then 75% of the people in the world.


If you have bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the money-box, you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, who are well-to-do.


So start living & stop worrying, You don't know how lucky you are!

The happiest people in the world

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.  

A Date

"A Date"

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad
news.

"I thought that it would be pleasure with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did not do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

Here's hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow.