Just stay

Just Stay

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. 'Your son is here,' she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.  Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest

awhile.

He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

'Who was that man?' he asked.
The nurse was startled, 'He was your father,' she answered.
'No, he wasn't,' the Marine replied. 'I never saw him before in my life.'
'Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?'

'I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.'

The next time someone needs you ... just be there.  Stay.

 

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家--不是�理的地方

寫在前頭：
這是我的好友在異國結婚時，他父親從大陸寄來的信，結婚當日司儀當眾就把全文朗頌出來，那是我見過最安靜的一次請客場合，在場學生無不為其父母的摯愛而感動，雖然事隔多年但那個場景仍然深深印在腦海中，這篇文章後來流傳開了，我則是一直保存到現在，在父親節從新校謄，希望能對你們有所啟示。

家--不是講理的地方--一份不在婚禮上的家長致辭
萍兒：
爸媽聽到你要結婚喜訊，真為你高興，遠隔千里，我們不能參加你的婚禮，不能在婚禮上獻上我們的家長致辭，這是我們內心的一點遺憾。但你是我們的女兒，相信你能理解爸媽的一份感受。

那天放下電話，我和你媽沈默了良久－－我們的孩子怎麼一下子就長大了？
後來，你媽對著鏡子淡淡地說：你看，我的白頭髮又多了，萍兒也該結婚了。
我數著你媽的白髮，那些白髮竟像許多往事，一件一件浮上心頭。
你媽提醒我：還是給女兒寫一封信吧！就算是我們送你的一份新婚禮物。
萍兒，我們只是天底下最平凡的父母，我們的孩子也只是天底下最平凡的女兒，我們不奢求太多，只是希望我的孩子踏上婚姻之路，走向人生之旅後，能滿懷感恩，一路平安在這裏，給你一個我們的生活體會。

先要告訴你：家不是一個講理的地方。
這句話聽起來，很沒有道理，但千真萬確，這句話是真理，是至理，是多少夫婦，多少家庭（包括我們家）用多少歲月，多少辛酸，多少愛恨，多少是非，多少對錯，在糾纏不清難解難分的混亂中，梳理出來的一個最後結論。

當夫婦之間開始據理力爭時，家裏便開始布上陰影。兩人都會不自覺地各抱一堆面目全非的歪理，敵視對方，傷害對方，最後只能兩敗俱傷，難以收拾。多少夫妻，為了表面的一個〔理〕，落得負心無情。

他們不知道，家不是講理的地方，不是算帳的地方。
那麼，何為〔家〕，家是什麼地方？
萍兒，我們年輕的時候，也回答不了這個問題；也像許多夫妻那樣，為一點小事爭鬧不休。那一年為了你小叔的調動問題，我和你媽大吵了一場，甚至鬧到要離婚的地步。只是在那個時代我們還缺乏勇氣。

直到有一天，一位老戰友在他孩子的婚禮上說：〔希望你白頭偕老，相愛永遠〕時，愛這簡短的字，像春雷響在我心裏。
是的，家不是講理的地方，家該是講愛的地方。
愛一時很容易，愛一生一世卻不容易，這裏面有許多妙處需要我們去總結和體會。
其次我們要告訴你：婚姻是個空盒子，你必須往裏面放東西，才能取回你要的東西；你放的愈多，得到的也就愈多。
很多人結婚時，對婚姻有許多期盼，期盼從中可以得到富貴，藉慰，愛情，寧靜，快樂，健康，其實婚姻開始的時候，只是一個空盒子。走到一起的兩個人，一定要養成一個習慣，去給，去愛，彼此侍奉，彼此讚賞，日後，那個空盒子才會日漸豐富起來。

空盒子最先該放的應該是〔思念〕，思念是一種使我們刻骨銘心的東西。它是兩個人有了肯定，有了情感，然後進而關懷，進而疼愛的一種情緒。〔思念〕是疲憊時通向家裏的一條小路，是寒冷冬夜裏的一股暖意，是匆忙推開家門後撲面而來家飯香....

空盒子裏還要放進〔藝術〕，婚姻生活中的藝術。在婚姻生活中，需要講藝術的地方無處不在，生氣有藝術，吵架有藝術。
有一對夫婦含辛茹苦養育了五個孩子，其中之艱難，只有他們自己能體會。一天，夫妻為了孩子的一件小事吵起來，越吵越厲害，眼看不可收拾了，妻子突然說：等一下，我要去生孩子了。這句話，就是吵架的藝術。

婚姻的盒子裏，除了放〔思念〕和〔藝術〕外，還有許多東西，都可以放進去，這有待於你們自己去填補。
寫到這裏想到一位作家說過的一句話：〔你們生養他，教育他，你們的責任已盡，而你們給他最好的禮物，是一對翅膀〕。
萍兒，這封信，就是爸媽送給你的結婚禮物，我們希望你帶著我們的祝福，快樂的飛翔！
爸爸，媽媽

 

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Wedding Ring Explanation

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?

There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.

========================================================================

Thumb represents your Parents

Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings

Middle finger represents your-Self

Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner

Last (Little) finger represents your Children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers
And hold them together - back to back

Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the
Thumb - tip to tip

(As shown in the figure below):

<Missing>

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)...,
They will open, because your parents are not destined to live with
You lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers
(representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers
And sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their
Own separate lives.

Now rejoin the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (they

Represent your children)...., they will open too, because the children

Also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, rejoin your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring

Fingers (representing your spouse).

You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT..., that's because
Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through
Thick and thin!!